Feb 19 2009
A Shark-skinned Suit
“Say, Louie, what’s with all these younger sharks swimming with you?” “Benny, I’m going to the courthouse to file a lawsuit for some lobsters, and these young guns are following me around for some research they’re all doing on the life of a big-time shark practioner. You know capturing the moments, understanding stuff like time management, dress-for-success, client consultations, things like that. I’m famous”, Louie grinned wide showing off those awful ragged, razor-sharp 50 teeth or so. “Well, I’ll be a carnivorous mammal. You finally got what you wanted: publicity”. “Yeah, and it isn’t costing me a penny. It’s all courtesy of the shark school I went to in the Pacific. I told you about that. The school is trying to recruit a better class of student sharks. I got a call from the dean’s office and he asked me to show these kids a thing or too about what underwater life is like through the fast currents. So far, they’ve seen me attack a seal, a porpoise, some mackerel, I bit off a huge chunk of some decaying Orca, they really got a kick out of that. Their cousins are the whales who are the ocean law judges, remember? You should have seen them swarming around ready to copy my style. It was a real hoot”. “So, Louie, you’re showing them how to eat, eat, and eat. Nothing about helping ocean life, like those sharks living by the reefs, the ones that the stimulus package isn’t going to be able to help. That underwater government program isn’t going to bring back the reefs even though all the politicos are blathering on about how change is good and this program is thoughtfully designed to assist those in trouble. What about teaching them something about giving back to the community? What about something like that?” “BENNY, what are you a Communist? This isn’t some third-world ocean we live in. Around here it’s take and take some more if you can stomach it. Those sharks along those reefs should just move on like any good shark would”. “What if they can’t because the area around them is totally filled with other greedy sharks like yourself who’ve bought up entire sections of ocean floor at a time?” “Would you just listen to yourself? You sound like a bleeding-heart lamprey. Take some advice Benny. Don’t try to understand my world, just hope that if you’re ever in trouble or have to file a lawsuit that I’ll be around to make it happen for you. Or, anyone of my new younger friends might just be on the other end of that spectrum ready for a little cannabalism, you know what I mean?” “Louie, I hear you talk like that and I’m convinced. You know what they say, a tiger shark never loses his stripes”. “Spare me, Benny, I’ve got enough going on I don’t need you passing judgment or stereotyping my kind”. The younger sharks seemed to be suspended in motionless currents and were staring with those lifeless eyes at Benny and Louie. Benny shuddered. “Louie, don’t you think you’re getting way in too deep with these kids and their psychic? They look hypnotized, or worse still, mesmerized by you”. “Yeah, isn’t it great? If I twitch my tail one way or the other they’re at you instantly. I love the control. I love the power. Oh, gotta go, and by the way, when you see me with this pack just sort of keep your distance, OK? I’ll swim over to you instead. They’re young, sharp, have great killer instincts and they claim to smell blood even when there isn’t any around”. “Louie, you full of it”.
Shakespeare declared that the world would be a better place without practioners. The Eagles group even wrote some lyrics about doing away with all of them in one night. In all truth, where would civilization be without the mediators, the scholars of good law, the translators of individuals’ good intentions, the saviors of the downtrodden, the fighters for the underdog…? Wait a moment, I think the Crusades and Inquisition began with some same precepts, or was it organized religion?……
