Mar 09 2009
Sharks For Dummies
“Hey, Louie, what’s with the disguise?” “Benny, Thelma and I are off swimming over to Europe. There a high-brow soiree going on. Mostly intellectuals is what I’ve heard”. “Say, if it’s so exclusive, how come they let in shark practioners? Ha, ha. Louie, it’ a joke, lighten up will you? So, again, what’s with the disguise?” “Well, the way I see it is that if I can get in with this longish hair wig, and goatee, I’ll easily blend in with the guests”. “You mean you’re not invited?” “Nope, just Thelma”. “But, Louie, then you’re nothing but a party crasher, you know that don’t you?” “Not if I’m with Thelma. She’s invited. She received her PhD. in Integrated Human Dynamics last year. It’s the fringe approach to sea creature behavior modification. She’s making a speech and all of that prior to the party starting. She’s currently in demand on the circuit”. “Ok, Ok, but where do you fit in?” “I’m her escort”. “A shark giggolo? That’s your disguise?” “Yes, and I’ll be networking that crowd like crazy. They’re all loaded. Heck, none of them would ever even give me the time of underwater day if I just met them off the reefs”. “Louie, do you hear what you’re saying? You’re using Thelma for your own career’s advancement. You ought to be ashamed of yourself”. “Say, Benny, Thelma’s a hot, young sharkie. She could have her pick of sharks but she chose me. Look, she’s a trophy shark, understand? I could have hundreds of them if I wanted. It’s the lure of my profession. I am a well-known shark practioner. I have fans, you know”. “Louie, those are creatures from whom you’ve bit off pieces numerous times with your crazy courtroom antics. They’re not fans, they’re buzz saws turning on you just waiting to cut”. “Hey, I’ve got thick skin so let them come at me. Any publicity is good publicity. Right? That’s the name of the game”. “So, does Thelma enjoy being manipulated like this? She not your average bubble-headed beach shark. She’s got a brain and still nuturing that streamlined speed look. Does she work out?” “Back off, buddy boy, I saw her first. Besides, she loves the attention I give her. Oh, here she comes. Hi ! sweet fins, how’s it undulating? Say, have you gained weight?”
Listening to shark practioners is like swimming through seaweed. The more you grope to swim out of reach, the more entangled you get. Staying away from sharks is not complicated. Don’t feed them and they won’t follow you home.
